Educating children is a required course for parents, but some parents' improper education will affect their children's healthy growth. This is a problem that parents need to face and improve.
A child is a "test question" that tests the parents 'level of family education at all times; an adult is a "answer" that reflects the parents' answers to the education test questions. Children are the "start" of education, and adults are the "outcome" of education. When we analyze the "beginning", we always make some subjective predictions and hypotheses; analyzing the "outcome" allows us to draw on the pros and cons of the family education of this person more objectively. Therefore, the analysis and observation of adults has more significance for us to educate children. Here, we briefly list several common problems among adults for parents and friends to use as reference when educating their children.
I lose the joy of life
Although life is not a feast, there are also many wonderful feelings for our taste, especially for children, because they are easy to satisfy.
However, in the eyes of utilitarian parents, happiness is not worth pursuing. Whenever they see children immersed in the game cheerfully, they think, how good it would be if the children could spend this time on their studies ...
In fact, activities such as learning, playing, communicating, and getting along with family have their own happiness. However, parents who do not educate their children will only make their children feel that learning is a burden, that they are not free to play, that communication is depressing, and getting bored is very Only when you get rid of your parents and your little friends can you get a little happiness.
Many parents are severely emotional, happy when they are happy, turning a blind eye to their children's mistakes, and upset, their children are all wrong. Moody makes children feel at a loss ...
Happiness is a very important thing. Only when living in the eyes of a child is a happy thing, will the child be full of enthusiasm and interest in life, and form a cheerful, optimistic, and active character.
Second, lack of security
Insecure people tend to be nervous and emotionally ups and downs, either blindly trusting or unsuspecting. When things come to an end, they can easily be unable to afford and not let go; when they are pursuing a certain goal, they often lack self-confidence and gain or lose. Although there are many talented people in this group, they are rarely able to feel real and satisfied, and their lack of security is a burden on their lives.
Whether the sense of security is sound or sufficient is determined by the child's experience from 0 to 6 years. Major changes in the family, broken parental feelings, and violent parenting styles can all undermine children's sense of security. Once the sense of security is destroyed, it is difficult to recover.
Some people fail in school when they go to school. In adulthood, problems such as lack of ideas, priorities, and inefficiencies will arise. Not all children with poor academic performance are incapable when they grow up. Here is the group of people who really want to learn but are always lawless and ineffective.
Apart from very few people with incompetence due to lack of intelligence, most of them are because of their parents' excessive protection and guidance, breaking their internal rhythm and harmony, resulting in their lack of active thinking habits, narrow vision, rigid thinking, and lack of self-confidence.
Fourth, emotional intelligence is too low
People with low emotional quotient have obvious defects in adapting to the environment, interpersonal communication, and grasping opportunities. Many times, emotional intelligence plays a more important role than IQ. People who do not understand tolerance, patience, and restraint are much less likely to succeed than people with high emotional intelligence.
Excessive addiction and spoiling, as well as the excessive emotionalization of the parents themselves, often cause the child's emotional development to lag.
V. Lack of opinion
Some people have no opinion and are not confident when they are in trouble. They always want help from others and are used to obeying others' help and arrangements. Such people are hesitant in their affairs, conservative in words and deeds, and their personal growth and development are very slow. This is actually a personality defect. Many times without opinion means that there is no self, such a person is very poor.
Children taught by dominant and authoritarian parents are prone to lack of opinion; on the contrary, children who have grown up in a democratic, loose, and supportive family atmosphere are often more assertive.
Some students pursue academic success as their only value, blindly reading books, and despise those who are outstanding in other fields but lagging behind in academics, stiff and unsmiling. Their experience is single, limited to school and family; the circle of communication is narrow, limited to a few good classmates.
Although such students can achieve certain results in their studies, they lack the necessary adaptability and flexibility, and it is easy to be absolute and idealistic when looking at problems.
The rigid values of parents' "scholastic supremacy" are the main causes of this scholarly personality.
Many adults like to be clever and never do things down to earth. It is difficult for such people to succeed in making things and making friends for a long time. Many people feel that this is nothing, and praise them for being smart. In fact, people with such organic spirits are very pitiful. It is their most common ending to take a closer look and lift their stones to hit their feet.
This playful behavior is directly related to the parenting style. In fact, when the child first showed such signs, if the parents could stop their behavior in time and vividly cited the harms of doing so, this error would be well corrected. Fear is not only that parents do not realize the harm of this behavior, but take pride in it and take pleasure in it. If so, this tendency of the child will increase with each passing day.
This kind of person has no foundation to hate his parents and hate his children, but he doesn't complain unless he doesn't. It's definitely not his fault to mess things up, and he is innocent if he makes a mistake. I always make excuses for everything, and I can't bear any other person saying that he is wrong. He will never admit defeat and keep complaining and arrogant. This manifestation of fragility and ignorance is usually caused by the spoilage and lack of demands of the family.
Nine, nervous personality
Such people are too concerned about the opinions of others and the outside world, for fear that their actions do not meet the requirements of others, and they will be criticized and despised. If it matters, the matter is small, and I still can't hold my heart. If I have a guest tomorrow, I won't be able to sleep tonight. On one occasion, I don't know where to put my hands and feet. If you can't express your dissatisfaction properly, you will either be depressed or overly aggressive. Do what you want, keep your rules, fear conflict and risk, and avoid trying.
Most of these people are overly controlled by their parents from an early age, annihilating their own personality. Except for obedience, they have no guts and habits to insist on their own ideas.
X. Do nothing
Such people have no ambition, no pursuit, and live for "survival". For them, life has no active direction except for passive passage. In fact, each child has its own unique talents. However, in the early life, there are no good examples for children to learn from. In family life, the spiritual world is too poor, and there is no spiritual pursuit and personal opinion. Therefore, the child's inner torch could not be ignited and eventually went out.
Eleven moral corruption, low-level fun
Some people are spiritually empty, lacking in cultivation, and pursuing sensory stimuli; they are good for themselves, they are sinister, and they use whatever means they can to achieve their goals.